


Jack Ran

by Python07



Series: More Than Meets the Eye [3]
Category: Jack of All Trades (TV)
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-06
Updated: 2015-10-06
Packaged: 2018-04-25 04:23:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4946557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Python07/pseuds/Python07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack runs away from his problems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jack Ran

“Where is that room?” Jack muttered under his breath.

“Why are you studying those blueprints so intently?”

Jack jumped. He held a hand over his heart and glared at Emelia over his shoulder. “Don’t sneak up on me like that! Can’t a guy get any privacy around here?”

Emelia smirked. “You are in my lab.”

Jack half turned to face her. He pointed his thumb at himself. “And my bedroom, Sister. What if I wasn’t decent?”

“At two in the afternoon? Besides, you’re never decent,” Emelia retorted sharply. Her smirk widened. “I’ve told you that I would consider remodeling a little in the main part of the house to provide an extra bedroom if you can prove that you can live like a civilized human being instead of an ape.”

Jack stuck his tongue out at her. “I stopped throwing food at the wall last month and I haven’t thrown poo in years.” 

Emelia half laughed and half winced. “That’s disgusting.”

“Your fault. You called me an ape.” Jack folded his arms across his chest and perched on the front edge of the table. “Sneaking up on me. You and your cat feet. I’m going to start making you wear a bell, little kitty.”

Emelia rolled her eyes. “You try that and you’ll get this cat’s claws.” She nodded to the blueprints behind him. “Well?”

Jack shrugged and reached an arm behind him to roll them up. “Oh, nothing.”

Emelia reached behind him to snatch the blueprints. She held them up to see. “The governor’s mansion?”

Jack hummed as if it was of no consequence. “Yeah.”

“We know the lay-out of the place pretty well by now.” Emelia tilted her head to the side, studying him. “What’s so interesting?”

Jack hugged his arms tighter about himself. He looked everywhere except at her. “Stop looking at me like that. I feel like one of your science projects. Next thing I know, you’ll be poking and prodding me like some deranged Mrs. Frankenstein.”

“That’s Baroness Frankenstein to you.” Emelia rolled the blueprints up and tapped him on the chest with them. “Stop evading the question.”

“I just wanted to look at them cause I got a little turned around last time,” Jack hedged. “Is that a crime?”

“You did not.” Emelia’s eyes got wide. She laughed. “You’re blushing.”

Jack rubbed the back of his neck. He still couldn’t meet her eyes. “No, I’m not. It’s hot in here.”

Emelia poked his arm. “Tell me.”

Jack jerked his arm away. “No.”

Emelia poked him again. “Tell me or I’ll keep poking you.”

“No means no, Baroness.” Jack slipped around her. “I’ve gotta go.”

Emelia turned and watched him all but run from the room. She put her hands on her hips and let out a long suffering sigh. “Honestly, I don’t know what gets into that man.”

Jack’s breathing came a little easier when he was finally out of Emelia’s house. He could easily hide in the crowds in the market, on the dock, or in the tavern. He stroked his chin. “Wouldn’t be bad to have a drink.” He rubbed his hands together in anticipation. “Lube the gears in the ol’ noggin.”

A drink turned into three and Jack was singing along with the bar crowd. Three drinks turned into six and he found himself in one of the upstairs room with one of the bar wenches. She was tall and voluptuous, with lustrous red hair and green eyes.

She was a cuddly armful in his lap. She was grinding down against him with clear intent. Her kisses were enthusiastic, but lacked finesse. Her perfume was cheap and overpowering.

Normally, none of that would matter. He loved women of all types: whores or high-society women, poor or rich, homespun clothes or the latest fashion from Paris. They all had their charms and he loved sampling those charms.

So, why wasn’t the little soldier coming to attention?

He pulled back from her mouth. “Umm,” he stuttered. “This has never happened to me before.”

She ground down harder in his lap and nipped at his bottom lip. “Give me time. I’ll make sure you rise to the occasion.”

He grabbed a handful of her hair. He pulled her head back and started kissing her throat. “Talk to me in French.”

She reached down to stroke him through his clothes. “Allez. Vous pouvez le faire.” 

Jack shut his eyes and tried to lose himself in the sensation of her. “Keep talking.”

She tried for a seductive tone but her voice was laced with frustration. “Allez, vous Petit baiseur. Je n'ai pas toute la nuit.” 

“Please,” he ground out. “Don’t fail me now.”

She sighed in boredom. “Un tel gaspillage.” 

The French did nothing this time to get his blood up. Jack released her. “No dice, Honey. It’s not happening tonight.”

She shrugged and climbed off his lap. She sat on the bed next to him. She patted his arm. “Don’t worry. It happens.”

Jack snorted in disgust with himself. “Not to this guy. I’ll have you know--”

She gave him a pointed look and interrupted, “I don’t care.”

“No. Of course, you don’t.” Jack stood. He looked down at her awkwardly. “Thanks for trying, Giselle.”

She jumped to her feet in outrage. She slapped his face. “I’m Monique!”

For the second time that day, Jack ran.

**Author's Note:**

> French translations (courtesy of Bing translator):  
> Allez. Vous pouvez le faire. -- Come on. You can do it.  
> Allez, vous Petit baiseur. Je n'ai pas toute la nuit. -- Come on, you little fucker. I don’t have all night.  
> Un tel gaspillage. -- Such a waste.


End file.
